


Eat Wormz

by FrogFacey



Series: Garrison's Dream Team [2]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: M/M, Pidge gets to be bait because she's small and generally non-threatening, Vampire Lance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-03
Updated: 2018-02-03
Packaged: 2019-03-13 01:44:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13560045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrogFacey/pseuds/FrogFacey
Summary: Keith stared at her blankly, “I have never once watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer.”-Set at some point before Keith gets attacked. Part of a series but can be read on its own-





	Eat Wormz

Pidge was rudely awoken from her dream of snogging Buffy by a very unimpressed looking Lance.

From what she could see behind the sheets they used to cover the van windows, it was light outside. Which meant they were at their destination. Fuck.

“What?” She asked, pushing her officially licensed, age old Sonic the Hedgehog sleeping bag off of the back seat.

“We’re here.” Hunk called over the driver’s seat, twisting as best as he could in the cramped space. Due to the fact that Lance had freakishly long legs and tended to sleep most of the day, they’d had to push the front seat as far forward as possible to make room for everyone. Keith was usually the one to drive because, unlike Hunk, he had spindly legs.

Pidge got the back seat to herself because she was small and was basically a brick when she slept. Which meant they could pile stuff on top of her and guarantee that nothing was going to end up broken.

She currently had a box of discarded chunks of wood that would eventually be sharpened into makeshift stakes at her feet. She kicked it just to hear it all clank together.

Pidge lived to watch the world burn.

“What’s with the sour face?” Keith asked, leaning over the front seat. He was sitting shotgun, the lucky bastard.

“Lance woke me up from my date with my celebrity crush.” She grumbled.

“Who was it this time?” Hunk resorted to kneeling on the seat, hugging the headrest.

“Buffy.”

Keith blinked.

“You know, Buffy? Like the show?”

Keith stared at her blankly, “I have never once watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer.”

Pidge rolled her eyes and sat up, throwing her head back dramatically. She narrowly missed the box of tinned food behind her, which she was pretty happy about.

Hunk sighed and kicked open his door, which would have been more impressive if he hadn’t of unlocked and opened it a smidge beforehand and didn’t love the shit out of his van.

“C’mon.” He climbed out, waving to everyone.

Pidge grabbed her glasses and Lance fished his umbrella out from under his seat. Keith grabbed his jacket and they all rolled out, Pidge and Lance surprisingly at the same time.

“Alright.” Keith said, shrugging his jacket over his shoulders, “Just like we practiced, right?”

“Just like we practiced.” Hunk echoed, and Pidge had the sudden urge to say that no, they _hadn’t_ practice anything. They talked over plans, most of which Lance had forgotten in his sleep. 

She kept quiet.

Keith made a weird hand gesture which meant that they were now not talking, everyone understood it in a different way. To Pidge it translated to “Shut the fuck up.”, to Hunk it was “Strategic silence.” and to Lance it probably meant something like “Quiet, bitches.”

Pidge enjoyed jobs like this, it was refreshing to get the upper hand and every new hideout they found was a possible step to actually finding Shiro. The only problem was that they always had to park ages away and she was always, _always_ the bait.

She grumbled to herself as they marched up the hill, under the cover of trees and against the breeze, Fantastic Mr. Fox style.

The hideout was a dirty old shed, they’d seen it a few times before. There were sleeping bags on the floor and old moth eaten pillows on a couch that smelled like dirt and mold.

It was gross. These vampires were gross too.

Pidge sighed and made her way to the tree next to the shed, it had one long branch that hung over the roof. It was thin and it would probably break when she tried to climb across it and she would probably land on the roof with a tremendous crash and then every vampire would be alerted to her presence.

Perfect. She grinned, hoisting herself up on the lowest branch and waving her legs around to get a hold. That was the aim here, make as much noise as possible.

Pidge made her own fancy hand gesture once she was halfway up the tree, Lance and Hunk nodded and snuck behind the shed, Keith joining her in climbing.

She reached the branch, resorting to hanging off of it like a sloth when she wasn’t able to crawl across. Keith looked panicked, Pidge stuck her tongue out at him.

Her weight made the branch dip so much that when she reached it, she was basically just lying on the roof.

She let go and sent a thumbs up to Keith, who dug around in his back pocket and fished out his old switchblade. He hesitated for a second before chucking it over to her.

It sailed through the air in a very uncoordinated fashion and landed with a dull clunk next to her head. She grabbed it and rolled over, shuffling forward on her stomach to look through the skylight.

Three vampires were huddled by the beam of light, daring each other to run through it, from what Pidge could tell at least.

She sent the smallest of nods to Keith and scooted onto her knees, flicking the knife open. She took a second to admire all of the patterns on the blade. She really wanted that knife.

“You know,” She said to no one in particular, “I miss my fucking dog.”

Pidge plunged the knife through the thick plastic of the skylight cover, kicking it in and watching as it fell to the ground, much to the surprise of the vampires.

She heaved herself though the brand new hole in the roof, landing with an unceremonious crash in the middle of the group. Successfully winding herself.

The vampires circled around her, obviously intrigued. 

“What the hell?” One of them said. She had pigtails and would probably be really cute if it wasn’t for the whole vampire thing.

One of the others, a dude in this huge goth coat, finally noticed the stake tucked through one of her belt loops, “Dude, it’s a fucking hunter.”

“A pretty shit one.” This other girl said, she stumbled towards Pidge like she was drunk. She was holding a bottle of holy water and-

Holy shit. 

Had they been...Chugging it?

Pidge didn’t have time to ponder it though because suddenly came Lance’s signal which was literally just him screaming “Caw! Caw!”

Down jumped Keith (Pidge had to roll out of the way to avoid her head getting stomped) and Hunk and Lance came crashing through the back door.

“Razzle dazzle time!” Lance yelled, throwing his stake with so much force that it actually managed to get one of the vampires, the one with the goth coat. He fell to the ground with a dramatic spray of blood.

“Ew.” Hunk said, “That’s one down.”

“Bitch!” The drunk vampire lunged clumsily at Keith, snarling and growling.

Pidge unjammed the knife from the plastic, waving violently at the vampire’s ankles.

With a well aimed kick at her chest, she came tumbling down, brining the pigtailed one with her. The pigtailed one was screaming and hollering, waving at the other dead body.

Keith rolled his eyes and stabbed both of them quickly. There wasn’t even a cool blood splatter this time. Quite disappointing if you asked Pidge.

Hunk held out his hand and pulled Pidge up, she turned and kicked one of the bodies for good measure.

“God.” She said, dusting herself off and glaring up at the now destroyed skylight. “That was way too easy.”

“You don’t say.” Lance picked up him umbrella from the doorframe, shaking it off and opening it, “Time to go? Vámonos, vámonos.”

He shooed everyone out the back door, sending a glare back at the bodies on the floor.

“Buffy would be proud.” Hunk slung an arm around her like he always did, even when he was covered in blood. Like right now.

“Fuck yeah Buffy would be proud.” Pidge grinned, “We’d so be having victory makeouts right now.”

“What?” Keith looked very confused and kind of disgusted.

“Nothing.” Pidge waved her hand in dismissal, “I could show you at some point?”

“No.” Lance crossed his arms as best he could with an umbrella in the way, “We’re not watching Buffy again.”

Pidge sent him a glare and tried her hardest to shoot Keith a look that said ‘Yes, we are.’

“No pidge.” Keith sighed heavily, “No we’re not.”

**Author's Note:**

> I read a thing on tumblr about vampires will never hurt you and how the lyrics mention vampires drinking holy water like alcohol and?? It's such a cool concept so of course I had to shove it in my story.
> 
> ...Also I've never watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer...


End file.
